Insecurity – My Best Friend

I have recently found myself in a situation that my insecurities swelled up and got in my way.  It was such a silly thing though: the radio station I listen to was giving away free tickets to a show in my area and I wanted to try to call in for a chance to win and take my husband on a date.  I just couldn’t bring myself to make the call.  What was I so afraid of?  The worst thing that could happen was absolutely nothing, my phone call wouldn’t go through in time and i wouldn’t get the tickets.  The best thing that could happen is that I would win.  What was my hesitation about then?  I believe I was actually more afraid of winning than not getting through at all.  I was more afraid of the best case scenario then the worst case scenario, so I hesitated long enough to ensure the worst case would happen. Silly right?

There are many people who are afraid of unknown social situations.  It is a constant battle that I have lived with in my life.  The desire to be admired vs the fear of the spotlight. There is a natural desire to be noticed and liked by others, yet the thought of having to handle a conversation or “keep your cool” when other people are watching is completely terrifying.  There are so many insecurities that I have had to overcome in my life, and several more to keep chipping away at as I go.  It helps to hear that other people go through the same feelings.  There are many times I have heard that I shouldn’t worry about how I appear in a social situation because everybody else is too busy worrying about their own appearances to notice anyways.  If this is such a common occurrence, it should not be hidden like it is a quality to be ashamed of.

Insecurities are like teenagers, you should embrace them for what they are rather than try to control them.  Embrace your insecurities and you will naturally flourish into the person you work so hard to be by pushing them aside. Laughing at my own mistakes is a quality that I would prefer over not making any mistakes at all.  Sharing this silly story of calling into the radio station is only one step for embracing my insecurities…and believe me, there are several more stories that I can share.  It’s a good feeling to know that I can look back and laugh at myself.

A good friend of mine sent me the following link that I can really relate to.  Enjoy! 5 Tips to Help You Recover From Perfectionism.

What is Lazy?

The dictionary definition of lazy is: “disinclined to activity or exertion : not energetic or vigorous or encouraging inactivity or indolence”.  Lack of activity and energy seem to be the base for what most of us call lazy.  The word lazy is often used as a judgement, accusation or excuse, all of which come with a negative tone.  But there has to be more to it, lazy is just the surface word used for deeper levels we don’t understand (or haven’t tried to).  Let’s look at it another way, let’s try to take the implied negativity out of the word “lazy”.

I’m going to start with a simple statement of what I believe to be fact: Lazy is a choice!

To recognize this is the first step in accepting it. It’s a choice that we all make from time to time.  Every action we take, or do not take is a choice.  There is no external force that can make me lazy.  When I am lazy, it is a mental decision to choose inactivity over activity.  It is no different than choosing to wear a red shirt today rather than a blue one.

Every choice we make comes with consequences.  We logically weigh the pros and cons in our decision making process.  Am I willing to live with the consequence of my choice to be lazy?  Some days — yes, but not every day.  It’s about finding a good balance. 

Life is in constant flux, it is always changing.  The choices we make do slowly define who we are, but it is easy to define yourself into a corner based on your past decisions rather than acknowledging that you can change your self-definition with new decisions.  You always have a choice to change…ALWAYS!  My first choice today is to to accept that there are days I choice to be lazy, but it does not define me as a lazy person.

I choose to observe myself as a friend and learn as much about myself as possible.  As I am constantly changing, this is a long-term choice to continue to observe, learn and accept every iteration of “me” that I encounter.